How to fix a toxic relationship| 7 proven tricks
From stalking to physical
abuse, how Bollywood movies glorify toxic relationship habits.
In the long past we the common
people like to watch movies, dramas,s and many plays for amusement. Which makes us
happy and feel the love in our life. this is the relationship that godded women from cosmetic surgery to vaginal surgery. Now the time has changed and we love to watch
movies at home or in the theater which make us happy and give us too many ideas for
changing our thought and that is the main reason which has changed our lives and we
are Appling that toxic idea which is causing toxic relationship in our life. Let us see how movies are compelling us
to do toxic activities in real life. But before knowing this we have to know
what is a toxic relationship.
What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship is a part
of your relationship which filled with negative emotions by behaviors on the
part of the toxic partner that is emotionally and, not infrequently,
physically damaging to their partner.
While a healthy relationship contributes to our self-esteem and energy of love and renunciation. toxic relationship damages self-esteem and drains energy. social media is also a big platform that creates toxicity in our relationships. A
healthy relationship involves mutual caring, respect, and compassion, an interest
in our partner’s welfare and growth. And the ability to share and decision-making,
in short, a shared desire for each other’s happiness. A healthy relationship is
a safe relationship, a relationship where we can feel joy without fear, a place
where we feel comfortable and secure. A toxic relationship indicates fear and
lots of doubt. A toxic relationship is characterized by insecurity and self-centeredness. Dominance, control. We risk our life and everything with
toxicity.
Keep in mind that it takes two
individuals to shave a toxic relationship. Initially, we’ll look at the behaviors
of the toxic partner. but we must look equally hard at the individual who is
the recipient of the toxic behavior. And we must ask, Why? Why does an adult
stay in a relationship that will almost inevitably damage him or her
emotionally and/or physically? And what, if anything can we do short of leaving
that might help mend such a relationship with Indian women? We’ll examine both of these questions
later. First, however, let’s examine toxic behaviors and relationships in more
detail.
Types of a toxic relationship.
Even a good relationship may
have brief periods of behaviors we could label toxic on the part of one or both partners. Human beings, after
all, are not perfect. Few of us have had any formal education on how to relate
to others. We often have to learn as we go, hoping that our basic style of
relating to significant others – often learned from our parents and/ or friends
– is at least reasonably effective.
A toxic individual behaves the
way he or she does essentially for one main reason: he or she must be in
complete control and must have all the power in his or her relationship. Power-sharing does not occur in any significant way in a toxic relationship. And
while power struggles are normal in any relationship, particularly in the early
stages of a marriage, toxic relationships are characterized by one partner
absolutely insisting on being in control. Kip in mind, that the methods used by such
an individual to control his or her partner in a toxic relationship may or may
not be readily apparent, even to their partner.
With the above in mind let’s
examine some of the more common types o dysfunctional behaviors that a toxic partner
may use in a relationship with a significant other. These categories should not
be seen as exclusive. Frequently, a toxic individual will use several types of
controlling behaviors to achieve his or her ends. Also, the examples
below are most typically seen in marriages and/ or other committed
relationships. They can certainly occur in parent-child interactions or
friendships.
How movies are indulging toxic elements in life
India is a country with over 130
crore people and most have access to, if not own, a television. And where
there is a television there will be Bollywood movies and for those who could afford
a movie ticket, there are numerous movie halls and multiplexes to choose from.
A person whose exposure to Bollywood movies begins before he could even speak
properly, naturally, would end up learning about many important aspects of
life from movies, including his ideas of love, romance, and relationships.
Unfortunately, we cannot say that Bollywood movies are the best teachers when
it comes to love and relationships. Whether you like it or not, many times Bollywood movies glorify toxic
relationship habits and we aren’t even aware of it. Let’s see how:
Stalking
There are so many examples of
Hindi movies that glorify stalking that the young generation might think of it
as something very normal. Let’s start with the movie Rehana Hai Terre Dil Mein’
where the protagonist played by Madhavan not only stalked the girl he was in
love with (played by dia Mirza) but impersonates someone else (the man her
parents have chosen for her but she hasn’t met him) to come close to her!
And how can we forget the 90s
blockbuster ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hain’ where Shah Rukh Khan climbs a ladder to reach
Rai Nukherjee’s bedroom and that too after meeting her just recently Boys and
girls, stalking is not normal, in fact, it can be counted as a criminal offense
if the victim complains about it?
Toxic masculinity and physical abuse
Everything is fair in love and
war, isn’t it? No. Physical abuse and toxic masculinity aren’t acceptable in any
relationship. Recently the movie ‘Kabir Singh became the talk of the town for
many reasons—Shahid Kapur’s excellent acting skill was one and his character
Kabir Singh's toxic masculinity and physical abuse were another. Kabir loved
Preeti but that didn’t give him the right to hit her, bully her or force his
decision on her. But this is not the only movie. Have we forgotten about ‘Tere
Naam’? That movie became so popular that even school-going boys started copying
the lead character Radhe’s mannerisms and hairstyle. Physical abuse by a partner
is a criminal offense and toxic masculinity is nothing to be proud of.
Losing one’s identity to be liked by a partner
Oh! Nothing can beat this.
Remember the movie ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hain’ where the tomboy (played by Kajol)
tried to change herself to get the attention of Rahul (Shah Rukh Khan): she
ends up being ridiculed. In the second half of the movie, we see a completely
different Anjali—one who wears a saree puts on make-up and has long hair!
Rahul finally falls in love with the new Anjali. Not only this but there are also so
many Bollywood movies that glorify
the need to change to become desirable.
If you are in love and in a relationship, your partner should accept you the way you are.
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The obsessive-compulsive need for attention
Most Bollywood love stories
show that it’s normal for a lover to seek attention. There is a thin line
differentiating the need for attention and the obsessive-compulsive need for
attention. From Asshique 2’ to ‘Kabir Singh’ to ‘Pyaar tune Kya Kiya’ there are
innumerable movies that glorify the obsessive attention-seeking habit of a
lover. Anything that can make a partner uncomfortable cannot be good for the
relationship, right?
Why Bollywood movies are bad examples
A lot of young people imitate
or follow in real life what they see on screen. The actors they adore, inspire
the youth to be like them and many are misled into thinking the roles their favorite
actors play as ideal. That is now many people develop their ideas of love and
romance in real life. Take everything with a pinch of salt because reel life is
not real life.
What to do
The bad news is that you cannot change your partner. The good news is that you can
change yourself which may lead you to behave differently with your partner,
resulting in your partner deciding to change his or her behavior. Essentially
what you do is calmly but firmly confront the toxic behavior. You do this by
identifying the behaviors to your partner, letting him or her know they are no
longer acceptable, and suggesting alternate behaviors that would work better.
Simple, isn’t it?
When
you first confront a toxic partner you can expect that he or she will actually
escalate their controlling behaviors. You have to be able to handle whatever
they do. You have to stay calm and firm and simply repeat your request. If your
partner refuses to change, consider separating from the relationship for 30
days. You should then talk with them again, repeat your requests, and let them
know that you will not stay in the relationship if they continue their toxic
behavior. If they once again refuse to change, you need to enable the relationship
if they promise to change but relapse, repeat the cycle one more time. The
bottom line. You can attempt to seriously improve a toxic relationship only if
you’re prepared to leave it.
What
if you have parents who behave in a toxic manner? Fortunately, as an adult
child, you do not live with them 24/7, and you likely have the support of a
significant other in dealing with them. Essentially you need to deal with a
toxic parent in the same way you would deal with a toxic prater:
You confront
the controlling behavior, offer alternative ways the two (or three) of you
could relate, and see what happens. If your parents refuse to change their
behavior which, as mentioned above, will usually be controlled by toxic guilt
induction, you will need to severely limit their contact with you. Since few of
us would, or should, totally abandon an elderly parent who may need our help,
you’ll probably maintain some contact with them, but you’ll need to take
control of the relationship. Not an easy task, but by taking control – for
example by limiting phone calls, by you choosing when you do or do not see
them, etc. – you may be able to offer them the help they need while keeping
your emotional equilibrium.
We
often label those who stay in toxic relationships as “co-dependent:” but they may
well be. Co-dependency is, in my opinion, a result of low self-esteem that can
make it very difficult to follow the plan I’ve suggested. Again, if you’re in a
toxic relationship and having trouble, or are reluctant to effectively confront
your partner’s behavior, seek therapeutic help. You might well profit from
joining a “co-dependency” group. By all means, read books and/ or use the
internet to find other techniques to help yourself develop the self-esteem and
self-confidence you need to live without a toxic relationship.
Conclusion:
Our life
is made with a relationship without a relationship we can’t live our lives and always take care of our loved ones and if
fail to do this our life vanishes. And one most important thing here which you
have to mind is that don’t do ever what you see in the cinema because they create
this type of scene just for fun and the majority of views help them make
more money.
Your
life is a definition of love and I would say spread love in your life with
confidence. If you feel something wrong in your relationship you must be asked your partner doesn’t hold such a question inside which lead to toxic elements
in your heart because it is a danger to you.
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